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These Everyday Health Strategies Make Wellness Easy, Right Now

January 13, 2021 by deepak

Staying healthy takes a long-term commitment, which is why so many people falter in meeting their goals. The right strategies, modifying your diet and exercise regimen, nurturing relationships, and signing up for a tailored program offered by Deepak Saini Health’s Personal Blue Zone Masterclass, can help you achieve better health, improved performance, and increased longevity. Try these simple tweaks to promote wellness every day—starting right now.

Start with Simple Exercises

Engaging in regular exercise is beneficial. Experts recommend a variety of exercises, from endurance to strength to balance and flexibility, to keep you at your best.

Even exercise like taking the stairs (when it’s safe to do so) can improve health outcomes. You’ll build muscle, improve your cardiovascular health, and even reduce your risk of experiencing a stroke. Of course, stair climbing isn’t the only suitable exercise. From yoga to line dancing to tennis, there’s a physical activity out there that’s right for you.

For example, as the National Osteoporosis Foundation highlights, weight-bearing exercises such as bodyweight workouts are excellent for improving bone density. Muscle-strengthening moves are also crucial for your bone health.

Starting with a low-impact fitness regimen—such as walking, cycling, and swimming—is ideal, especially if you are new to regular exercise. It’s also easy to fit into your day. If you want to keep an eye on your progress, a fitness tracker, smartwatch or Oura ring is a terrific tool. Not only will you be able to track your workouts, but you’ll also be able to monitor all your activity whether you’re walking to work or going up the stairs.

Round Out Your Healthy Diet

No matter how healthy you eat, it’s likely you have nutritional gaps in your diet. Processed food and inadequate micronutrient levels make you more susceptible to illness.

Even the healthiest foods don’t contain 100 percent bioavailable nutrients. This means that your body can’t glean all the good stuff from your diet alone, even if each meal is a plateful of veggies.

To address deficiencies, talk to an expert that can help support your nutritional needs. The right supplements can promote gut health, clear up your skin, deliver extra energy throughout your day, and even promote longevity.

The best vitamins are ones that contain high levels of bioavailable nutrients, so take care to read labels and research supplements thoroughly. Then, you only need to remember to take your supplements each day (ideally with food) to reap the health benefits.

Focus on Relationships

Nurturing meaningful relationships is one way to stay healthy throughout adulthood. AARP highlights a survey which found that older adults who valued friendships enjoyed “better functioning.” And while family relationships are valuable, too, friendships proved most beneficial, according to the survey results.

You might not think your emotional well-being is directly linked with health. But surveys like the one mentioned above remind us of the mind-body connection and the importance of tending to your mental state.

Studies have also proven that social and emotional support can help protect people against early death, illness, and roadblocks toward recovery after surgery or a health scare. This means that friendships and family relationships are more vital than anyone might have guessed, especially in older age.

If you are dealing with relationship issues such as criticism or the blame game, it can bring more negativity into the home and contribute to stress. Negative relationships can be nurtured with house cleansing. Gather a few key ingredients — sage, lemons, white vinegar, sea salt, selenite, a bell, and a fireproof dish — to create a cleansing solution that you’ll then use on door knobs, windows, doors, and frames. This can allow more positive energy to manifest in the home and help improve everyone’s mood.

Check Out Health Programs

While you can benefit from the above tips, every individual has different health needs, so it is important to focus on wellness strategies that are suitable for you. The good news is whatever your age or ability level, you can find a health program that supports your wellness goals.

Deepak Saini Health offers a program designed to help you live a longer, healthier life. It is not a one-size-fits-all program — you will get a customized plan that will teach you about nutrition, functional movement and proper exercise, toxicity and the environment, and sleep and stress techniques. Making such changes a part of your everyday routine can make a big impact on your overall health.

Staying healthy requires balance—and that can even include occasional well-intentioned indulgences. But by taking these simple steps toward better health, you can pursue optimal wellness without drastically changing your habits. And you don’t have to spend unnecessary hours in the gym, either.

I would like to thank Jennifer McGregor for this guest article. She can be reached here:

mcgregor_jennifer@publichealthlibrary.org

PublicHealthLibrary.org

Photo via Shutterstock

Filed Under: General Tagged With: diet, emotions, exercise, fitness, longevity, nutrition, relationships, wellness

Past Year Reviews

January 10, 2021 by deepak

This is a post I recorded on my YouTube Channel. It was Part two of a two part series. Part one, can be seen on my YT channel Deepak Saini Health and don’t forget to subscribe.

This Blog Post is about Past Year Reviews. This is a concept I learned about from Tim Ferriss, so all credit to him.

Some people find Past Year Reviews more informed, valuable and actionable than goal setting and certainly more so than resolutions, which I hate and most people break anyways.

This is what the process looks like:

1. Garb a paper or notebook and create two columns: Positive and Negative

2. Review your calendar from last year, looking at each week

3. For each week, write down the people, activities, or commitments that triggered high positive or negative emotions for that month. Put those down in the proper columns.

4. Once you’ve gone through the whole year, review your list and ask yourself, ‘What 20% of each column produced the most reliable or powerful highs?”

5. Based on what you come up with, take your “positive” leaders and schedule more of them in the New Year. Book them in your calendar now! Book things with friends and family and even go so far as to prepay for activities/ events/ commitments that you know will work. Remember, its not real unless its in your calendar. That is the first part. The second part is to take your “negative” leaders, put “NOT-TO-DO LIST” at the top, and put them somewhere where you can see them each day for the first few months of 2021. These are the people and things you “know” make you miserable, so don’t put them on your calendar out of obligation, guilt, fear of missing out, or other nonsense.

Remember, it is not enough to remove the negative, that simply creates a hole, fill your calendar with the positive as soon as possible so you don’t get crowed out with BS that otherwise would fill your day.

This is the first time I have attempted this exercise. For the positives, I found it useful to go through my gratitude journal as well.

A couple of the things on my positive list were: going bike riding or to the park with my kids, and standup paddle boarding with friends or clients and reading at the beach. So I am going to try and do those things more.

I have plenty of negatives too. To protect the innocent, I won’t elaborate any more than to say remove or limit the people who add no joy to my life. Maybe it is just me, but if there is one thing that 2020 highlighted was how some people truly are. Life is too short to engage with people who do not share my values.

If there is anything on your Positives List that you want to do more of or to rekindle in your Health, Performance and Longevity, then let’s have a conversation, perhaps I can serve you or steer you to someone who can.

Don’t forgot to subscribe to my YouTube channel Deepak Saini Health to never miss out.

I would love to hear about your positives and negatives lists, add them to the comments.

Here’s to a Productive 2021! Cheers!

Filed Under: General, Mind Set Tagged With: goal setting, resolutions, tim ferriss, yearly review

Life Will Get Better- By Nicole Beurkens, PhD -Book Review

December 22, 2020 by deepak

Health is not all about Nutrition, Push-ups or attaching Lasers to your head. As I have mentioned previously, our relationships play a big part in our health and that is why I read books on parenting, relationships and emotionally coping with others.

A family member had this book, so I borrowed it to learn as much as I can.

The secondary title is: Simple Solutions for Parents of Children with Attention, Anxiety, Mood and Behavior Challenges.

While this book is geared towards parents and dealing with their kids, I would argue many of the tips are for the parents themselves and how to deal with other adults. It’s funny how sometimes we want our kids to act or behave a certain way, yet we don’t do it ourselves or we don’t practice what we preach with other adults. I am just as guilty.

There are five main sections of the book: Nutrition, Sleep, Movement, Connection and Cognition. These are all things that I work on with my Personal Coaching Clients.

I will provide the Key-Take Away(s) for each Section.

Nutrition

Reducing sugar intake is a sensible strategy to improve your child’s physical, cognitive and emotional health.

Artificial sweeteners have no benefit for physical or mental health, and have the potential to cause many problematic symptoms including inattention, hyperactivity, irritability, headaches, anxiety, and more.

Avoid feeding children foods and beverages with artificial dyes, preservatives and other chemicals, as they have been shown to worsen attention, mood and behavior symptoms.

Some children have specific food allergies and sensitivities that negatively impact their functioning. Identifying and removing these specific foods can lead to significant improvements in attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior.

Start the day with a high-quality protein-packed breakfast to support attention, mood, behavior, and learning throughout the morning at home and school.

Increasing fruit and vegetable intake helps ensure beneficial levels of essential vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients, and reduces the amount of less-healthy food consumed over the course of the day.

Drink more water! Increasing water consumption throughout the day can have a positive impact on mood, behavior, learning, and physical health.

Increasing Omega-3 fatty acid intake through foods and supplements supports improvements in mood, attention, behavior, and learning.

Specific nutritional supplements at the proper doses can be an important component of treating attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior challenges in children and young adults.

Moving children toward healthier eating habits is a process that happens over time. Small steps implemented consistently will help your child expand food preferences and eat more of the foods that support optimal health and function.

Sleep

The quantity and quality of your child’s sleep matter. Knowing how much sleep your child should be getting allows you to determine if your child is sleeping too little or too much.

Keep the routine leading up to bedtime consistent in order to provide the predictability and order a child’s brain needs to prepare for sleep.

Calming activities in the hours leading up to bedtime help children settle down for sleep more quickly and easily.

What your child eats and drinks before bed can make the difference between sleeping well and sleeping poorly. Provide a small sleep-supportive snack to help ensure a good night’s sleep for everyone in the family.

Reducing exposure to electronic devices -screen time -in the hour leading up to bedtime reduces the time needed to fall asleep, and improves sleep quality.

The physical environment can support or prevent quality sleep. Creating an optimal sleep environment for your child can be a simple solution to better sleep.

It is important for children to learn to fall asleep on their own at night. There is a systemic process for moving your child to greater independence with falling asleep, and the time and effort spent on it will save years of frustration and poor sleep.

Using specific supplements at the proper doses can help children fall asleep, stay asleep, and have good quality sleep at night, without the side effect risks of prescription medications.

Movement

Reducing the amount of time children spend on screen time activities supports improved mood, learning, social development, and behavior. Less time spent with electronic devices allows for increase time spent on movement activities, which benefits both physical and mental health.

Household chores can provide structural purposeful movement that promotes sensory integration, develops motor skills, enhances problem-solving skills, improves frustration tolerance, and encourages a healthy sense of personal competence.

Games involving physical activity are great for encouraging physical movement and building family relationships.

Obstacle courses are simple to create, can be used with children of all ages and developmental levels, and provide opportunities for structured movement indoors and outdoors.

Lycra fabric can provide movement benefits as well as a very calming sensory environment useful for reducing anxiety and improving emotional and behavioral regulation.

Unintegrated reflexes can be an underlying factor for many children with attention, anxiety, learning, and behavior challenges. Movement in general, and specific prescriptive movements used in reflex integration therapy, are essential to help children shift from struck unintegrated patterns of development into more mature patterns of functioning.

Implementing brief movement breaks at appropriate time intervals during sedentary activities supports your child’s attention, learning, mood, behavior, vision, and physical health.

Movement enhances learning, and children should be provided options to move in ways that facilitate focus and work completion at home and school.

Connection

The guided participation relationship between parents and children is essential for supporting child development across all domains in order for children to attain the highest degree of competence and independence possible.

A parent’s ability to stay calm when their child is distressed or angry is critical for managing the situation in a way that promotes calming, and builds a positive relationship between parent and child.

Reducing verbal communication, especially during moments when a child is stuck, frustrated, upset, or anxious, helps the child more effectively process language, reduce stress, and promotes a supportive relationship between parent and child.

Statements set a supportive tome for communication between parent and child, reduce impulsive responses, and encourage development of thoughtful communication and language processing skills.

Slowing down the pace of activities and communication can have a positive impact on a child’s ability to process information, stay calm and relaxed, and respond to task demands throughout the day. It also leads to a more positive supportive relationship between parent and child.

Situations that are overly complex can be frustrating and create a sense of incompetence for children and parents. Simplifying activities and expectations promotes a stronger parent-child relationship, lessens resistance on the part of the child, and leads to more successful engagement.

Intense emotional and behaviorally charged situations can arise between parents and children with attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior challenges. When this happens, the “stop the action” strategy supports the needs of the child, reduces the duration and intensity of the child’s reaction, and strengthens the connection between parent and child.        

Zone of connection is the amount of space between parent and child that allows for continuous engagement and attention to one another. Establishing the appropriate zone of connection for children allows then to stay better engaged and attentive to people and activities.

A great way for parents to strengthen the relationship with their child, reduce anxiety, and promote positive communication and relational skills is to engage in periods of uninterrupted, non-demanding time together on a regular basis.

Cognition

Constant direct prompting, such as repeated verbal reminders or telling your child what to do can create prompt dependance. This reduces opportunities for children to grow in their ability t think and problem solve independently.

Children with rigid inflexible thinking and behavior have weak flexible thinking skills. Implementing a consistent process for helping them become more comfortable with change in routines and environment is necessary to reduce anxiety, and improve tolerance for change.

Understanding that mistakes are expected and manageable is essential for children to develop positive self-esteem and appropriate coping skills.

Children with attention, anxiety, mood, and behavior challenges tend to have low frustration tolerance that can lead to poor emotional and behavioral regulation. Using strategies to improve frustration tolerance allows children to persevere in the face of challenging or uncomfortable situations.

Providing your child with opportunities to solve problem throughout the day supports the development of problem solving skills and emotional resilience.

Teaching children to accurately identify the problem they encounter is essential to helping them feel a sense of control over their lives and circumstances, and to implement effective solutions.

Guiding children to generate and think through potential solutions is a critical part of helping them learn to manage and solve problems independently.

Problem solving journals are a simple way to teach children to anticipate problems they may encounter, as well as to reflect on past experiences in order to learn from them.

Activities that promote mindfulness help children slow down, improve awareness, attend to what is going on within and around them, and develop the ability to think before acting.

Spotlighting positive experiences, modeling our own positive outlook, and communicating is more positive ways can help children with chronically negative attitudes shift toward a more positive focus.

I believe many of these key takeaways are pretty obvious and easy to understand, even without reading the book. Some others you likely need the context of the book. If you want to be a better parent, especially if children or anyone in your life has challenges, I would recommend this book.

While I don’t work with children (excluding my own), I often have my clients ask me things relating to their kids. If you want to work with me to enhance your Nutrition, Sleep, Movement, Connection and Cognition, let’s have a conversation.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: anxiety, cognition, connection, mood, movement, nutrition, parenting, sleep

Winter Training for the Stand-Up Paddleboarder

December 17, 2020 by deepak

This post is a long time coming. To all of you who have read my story, you know that I was really into running and golfing before I hurt my back a number of years ago. For the most part I have replaced those activities with my new favorite summer activity, Stand Up Paddle boarding or SUP.

I love getting out on the water nice and early, when it is usually just me and natures creatures. When all I can hear is a slight wind, birds singing, the splash of my paddle in the water and my own breathing, I find it therapeutic almost meditative. I have only been doing SUP for five years, so it is a relatively new sport to me, so I am always trying to improve and push myself. I have done SUP on vacation in the Caribbean and Hawaii, but the vast majority of the time it is in the lakes and rivers near my home. Unfortunately I live in a cold climate so my SUP season is pretty short. Which means I spend more time off-season training to be better than I actually spend doing it. The following are some of my thoughts on off-season training for SUP.

Cardio Cross Training

  • For those of you like me who live in places where it snows during the winter, cross-country skiing or snow shoeing are great full body exercises to keep you in shape during winter and works all the muscles you need for SUP.
  • The rowing machine if done correctly is also a great full body workout that works many muscles throughout the body including your back and shoulders.
  • I am a fan of the Elliptical machine (make sure it has the swinging arms) to not only build a general cardio base, but to also lessen the impact on the knees and lower body.
  • Another low impact exercise is to swim. It is a great full body exercise and you never know when you may need to swim yourself to safety or swim after your board or paddle.
  • You can always run or bike as well to build or keep your cardio capacity, but these two activities are the least comparable to SUP.

Core strength is very important for SUP, and your core obviously constitutes both upper and lower body, so for the purposes here I will split the body into both specific upper and lower body exercises. Keep in mind this is not a one day circuit (it could be), nor an exhaustive list for all training goals, but rather some exercises I like to sprinkle into my weekly routine to help with preparing for SUP. Some I do daily, some weekly and some only once a month.

Specific Upper Body

  • Strong Abdominals are key for not only daily life activities but for sporting activities like SUP. My go to exercises are plank varieties. I do multiple sets of both lying and side planks.
  • Pushing motion (ex. Pushups) help to strengthen your chest, shoulders and triceps.
  • Pulling motion (ex. Pull-ups or Rows) help to strengthen your back and biceps and are the key muscles when paddling.

Specific Lower Body -Balance Exercises

  • Lunges are a great foundational exercise. There are many varieties to choose from, specifically for SUP I like to incorporate Side lunges to work the adductors.
  • Squats will strengthen your legs all-around. For SUP training I prefer Single leg squats to work on balance.
  • Calf raises -Again I really like Single leg to work on balance.
  • Toe raises -Many people will neglect all the small muscles in their feet, but I recommend every once in awhile throwing in some toe raises to keep base strong.
  • Barefoot -Whether you SUP barefoot or in a minimal water shoe, I like to do my lower body exercises barefoot or in socks to work the muscles, especially those in your feet more naturally without the support of a shoe.

When you are out on the water, there are always a lot of variables that need to be taken into account. Being in tune with how my body is feeling is the number one thing that drives how hard I’ll push myself or not, where I’ll go SUP etc. However, balance and being physically prepared for the day are the two things that when I am on point, make for a better experience.

Not sure where to get started with exercise or SUP? Contact me.

Filed Under: General

Book Review: Unschooling to University: Relationships matter most in a world crammed with content by Judy Arnall

November 30, 2020 by deepak

I’ll admit this post may take some of you by surprise, mostly because many of us have Cognitive Dissonance in many areas of our life (a discussion for another time), but especially when it comes to the education system. Now nearly all of us, myself included have gone through “traditional” schooling, many of us for many additional years to go to collage or university, and maybe even graduate studies or professional designations etc. I’ll hear people say they turned out all right or you turned out fine. I strive to be Exceptional, not alright or fine. I want this for my kids too. So, before my oldest child had even started school, I began to ponder these types of questions. I learned about this book and others like it (ex. Free To Learn) about three years ago. However, it wasn’t until this year and the madness that has ensued that I finally decided I need to learn more about this subject.

Relationships, and especially those with our family and children is a huge part in one of my 7 Pillars of Health, Performance and Longevity, hence why I have chosen to share this review with you.

There are many types of learning situations, traditional school, home learning facilitated by the school, home learning where the responsibility is shared and as per the books title, Unschooling. Keep in mind there are many different flavors and a spectrum where all of these reside.

Education encompasses all the learning in a person’s life. Parenting is a major factor in education, guiding the whole child in all four developmental domains: social, physical, cognitive, and emotional. Research shows that the longer children avoid formal schooling and instead determine their own education, the more likely they are to attend postsecondary education and love it. (Gray 20014) That last part is key, “and love it”.

Just speaking for myself, I only went to university because that was what I thought I was supposed to do and felt the pressure from my parents to attend and get a “good job”. While I did receive two full degrees, I spent 5 and a half years there and mostly hated it. I liked being with people, many friends, being an adult and partying, but I cannot say I loved it. It was a chore for me. I chose a field where I thought I could get a good well-paying job, thinking that is all that matters. For many years, my first career was very good to me, and I cannot complain. I came to health and my current passion by overcoming my own health challenges, but I sometimes wonder what would I be doing if I followed one of the things I was passionate at as a kid.

This book is broken out into four main sections or themes. The first describes what is Unschooling or Self-directed learning. It discuses why the need for changes to the education system, how students are now borderless in a digital world, how we learn, that any adult can provide the 7 Critical C’s of education (Curiosity, Caring, Creativity, Competencies, Context, Conversations, Community).

Part one also goes into the research on whether unschooling works, what unschooling is and what it is not, how play in its many forms is the primary learning vehicle of children and the myths of childhood education (again back to the cognitive dissonance I mentioned at the top).

The second section of the book is titled: The digital generation needs adults and self-direction more than peers and curriculum. It briefly discusses the history of education and then digs deep into the academic, social, emotional and physical benefits of unschooling, as well as the benefits to society.

The third section of the book describes the critical components of a personalized education. These being an Adult or Facilitator, Resources, Unstructured Time and what many of you are probably wondering about, Assessment.

The final section is about development stages and begins with the basics of the brain and then moves on to discussing different age ranges from babies to 25 years old and how they learn and how to master the requisite skills we as a society feel is important to have by the time you are an adult. This section will be eye opening for many on how children can learn to read, write, math etc. in ways completely contrary to what most of us believe in, namely copy, memorize and repeat.

For anyone who decides to read this book, my hope is that you appreciate that there are many ways to learn and even the most so-called advanced schools are still working off a 100-year-old model.

In the spring of 2020, schools and families around the world were disrupted. Some handled it better than others, both from the perspective of the families and the school boards. Regardless of your thoughts on the back-to-school policies of the new school year beginning in fall of 2020, I hope many people from parents, to teachers, to administrators, to policy makers are opening their eyes to the need for changes to our antiquated education system.

Even if homeschooling does not work for your family at this time, I would recommend anyone to read this book to get a better understanding of what your child actually needs to learn and educate themselves. It has opened my eyes and I look at learning situations through a different lens now. Again, I truly feel this is part of relationship building within your family and a major component of you and your families health and longevity.

For full disclosure, by the time I finished this book in late August 2020, and after reviewing our family situation and dynamics and reflection on my own personal strengths and areas of improvement, we chose to send our children back to regular school. That being said, we are using this year as a barometer to see if traditional school works for our kids or if we need to revisit Unschooling in the very near future.

Contact me, if you would like to discuss this or any other topics further.

Filed Under: General

Boundless: Upgrade Your Brain, Optimize Your Body & Defy Aging by Ben Greenfield -Book Review

November 25, 2020 by deepak

I have been following Ben Greenfield for seven or eight years, back in the days when I was only focused on my physical performance, specifically trying to become a faster runner. I have read and own his last book titled Beyond Training. You can look up Ben and his history to know more details, but Ben has been one of the pioneers for the Biohacking and Self-quantification movement. He is still a young man, but it has been interesting to follow his journey over the years to be less focused on athletic performance and more so on relationships and spirituality. When I hurt my back a number of years ago, I credit Ben with putting Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) treatments on my radar. PRP along with a low inflammatory diet is what saved my health. I was fortunate enough to meet Ben Greenfield at the Canadian Biohacker Summit a few years ago and thank him personally. I have even taken his 10-week Kion Masterclass. That’s probably enough back story, let’s get to the review of Boundless.

Let’s start off with that this is not a book you can easily lug around with you. I pre-ordered the book and when it arrived, I decided to wait a few months to dig in, as I wanted to immerse myself in the proper setting to really absorb this beast of a book. I bet many of you remember your high school or university textbooks, particularly the science ones. Well this book is basically a biohacking textbook. It is hard cover, has illustrations and color and comes in at a whopping 640 pages. If you have read any of my previous book reviews, you know I appreciate references and sourcing. Boundless is so comprehensive that the publishers need the book cut down. So, all the references and three bonus chapters are available online to those who have purchased the book. I downloaded and printed those off and it filled a two-inch binder. Imagine, basically another book in itself. Also, I went ahead and counted, and I had 51 pages flagged and countless lines of text highlighted.

There are twenty-one chapters in Boundless. I will briefly discuss some of the main topics in the three themes covered.

Upgrade Your Brain

The first couple chapters discuss how to rewire your brain and fix a leaky brain for better performance, then moves on to reducing high cortisol and how to fuel your brain properly. He then moves on to Nootropics and Smart Drugs, an area I am becoming more interested in myself. Next up is tech, games and other tools for brain health.

The last chapter in this section, and I would argue the most important, is all about sleep. In my opinion, the number one thing you can focus on for your health.

Optimize Your Body

This section begins with how to burn fat without destroying your body, how to build functional muscle and fitness for longevity in an efficient manner. Then he discusses some of the gear and tools to work on your body.

A whole chapter is devoted to recovery, which is something I really appreciate and couldn’t stress more with my clients.

Then the book gets into fixing your gut, optimizing digestion and nutrient absorption, and how to customize your nutrition. I truly appreciate this last point, as I have been stressing this for years, with my clients, when I give presentations or speeches; Nutrition is highly individualized.

There is a chapter titled, Never Get Sick, on building a robust immune system, and this couldn’t be more appropriate in 2020.

The last chapter that I am including in this section is on how to test, track and interpret blood, saliva, urine and your stool. This chapter helped nudge me into taking a course to learn about optimal blood markers so I can provide this additional service to my clients.

Defy Aging

This next section begins with a chapter on maximizing your body symmetry and beauty. While I have made it my goal to be a Centenarian for a number of years now, I never really thought too much about how my skin etc. would look. I have been more focused on the mental and physical aspects. This chapter has pushed me to make some changes in my own life and look into some new practices. It should be noted that this isn’t for those aging and wanting to look and feel younger, these are strategies that anyone can use and I plan to incorporate them with my kids when they are age appropriate.

There is a chapter that delves into libido, sexual satisfaction, hormones and more. Followed by how we all can use ancestral wisdom and modern science together to maximize our health span. This is essentially the outline I use for my Masterclass.

Another chapter is titled Invisible. I would call it the hidden sources of stress. These are all the little paper cuts you get all day long, every day, without even realizing it. If not mitigated, all these little paper cuts will eventually harm you beyond repair. I give a corporate presentation on this exact topic.

The last chapter of this book (I won’t discuss the bonus chapters mentioned earlier) is about putting all these topics and things you learned into a plan for you, a ritual or series of new habits for you to become Boundless.

Boundless, along with just a handful of other books (see previous reviews) are my go-to books, if I need to refresh my memory on a topic or reference something for one of my clients or myself.

While I don’t agree with everything the author follows or believes, I am a Ben Greenfield aficionado. I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to take a SERIOUS dive into upgrading and optimizing yourself. Why did I just all-caps SERIOUS in the last sentence? I realize tackling this book is daunting, as is wading through all the information about health, performance and longevity. You need to be committed to tackling it on your own. I hope you do! But if you want to, or need to work with someone to upgrade your brain, optimize your body and defy aging, contact me and perhaps we can work together.

Filed Under: General

Fascia – The Missing Body Maintenance Link

October 28, 2020 by deepak

One of my 7 Pillars of Health, Performance and Longevity is movement in the right dose for you. No movement practice is complete without adequate rest and recovery, a step many people completely ignore. Besides stretching the muscles after exercise, you want to keep your Fascia healthy. To dig a little deeper into Fascia, I have asked Sheena Taggert to provide another guest blog post below.

Did you know that scientists are considering fascia to be the largest system in our body instead of skin? What is Fascia? Wikipedia defines it as “a band or sheet of connective tissue, primarily collagen, beneath the skin that attaches, stabilizes, encloses, and separates muscles and other internal organs”.  It allows free movement of the muscles, carries nerves, blood vessels, lymphatic vessels, and fills spaces between muscles.

Think about fascia and why it needs to be maintained this way: When you are preparing chicken for supper and you go to remove the skin it is the white membrane that holds the skin down. Now these chickens that we eat are only a few months old. Over time our fascia can become stuck and it may be stuck in a bad position that can cause pain. Fascia can become shortened, adhered, or restricted due to surgery, trauma, sickness, inflammation, or postural imbalances created by tension patterns of the muscles. Myofascial release is the technique that maintains your fascia. It separates the fascia from skin to muscle, muscle to muscle, and muscle to organ fascia.

Here’s my experience with myofascial release technique: I’m not sure why exactly I have issues with my fascia but since releasing it I have been able to maintain the gains I’ve received from massage. I notice when I have a spot missed by myofascial release that within hours my massage gains seem to disappear. I have hyperypkyphosis which is the excessive curvature of the thoracic spine and after a massage it was feeling great! Unfortunately, as soon as I started driving home the pain was back. I realized that releasing the fascia over my spine was missed. On my next appointment we corrected it and the gains were maintained for weeks instead of hours and I was once again able to maintain my new posture.

Pain is the body’s way of telling you something is not right. By the time you feel pain it means your body is already pulled out of proper alignment. Bones keep the body upright, ligaments hold the bones together, muscles create movement, and holding it all together is your fascia attaching, stabilizing, enclosing and separating.

Have you been dealing with a problem that has not been remedied no matter what you do or professional you have seen? Myofascial restrictions can be remedied with a combination of massage therapy, heat, and by stretching and strengthening the muscles to obtain your optimal physical health.

I look forward to seeing you,

Sheena Taggart RMT 

Restore function and life through the re-education of muscles and elimination of pain.

Many people are carrying a lot of stress from many sources, including the many hidden sources of stress that I discuss in my courses. Fascial release is just one of the ways to reduce the stress on your body. If you need to optimize your Health, Performance and Longevity, lets talk about all the strategies that can work for you.

Filed Under: General

Book Review: The Oxygen Advantage by Patrick McKeown

October 25, 2020 by deepak

I had first heard of this book about four years ago when the author was doing some promotion for it, and I remember thinking it seemed interesting. Over the years, this book keeps being brought to my attention in various ways. Then I found myself in the summer of 2020 with one client that wants to explore breath work to possibly get into an altered state for reflection, another client who has sleep apnea and is open to trying to get off the CPAP machine and the debate of whether wearing a mask harms your health via retained CO2. These three ideas pushed me to finally purchase and read this book.

The book is broken out into four main parts.

The first is titled the Secret of Breath, which introduces the concepts and science. The premise being that humans are meant to breath through our noses and only need to recruit the mouth in times of duress. However, we have become a society of chronic mouth breathers and chronic over breathers. Excess oxygen can prematurely damage your tissues through the generation of excess free radicals. Over breathing causes the narrowing of airways and the constriction of blood vessels, leading to reduced blood flow to the heart and other organs and muscles. The Bohr Effect is detailed, which explains that the amount of carbon dioxide present in our blood cells determines how much oxygen we can use. Opposite of what most of us were taught or believe. This part also introduces the reader to the BOLT score, a measure of how efficiently your body uses oxygen. It is a simple exercise you can test on yourself.

Part two of the book is titled the Secret of Fitness, it introduces and discusses the use of techniques for enhanced performance, what many Olympic athletes do and how to simulate high-altitude training when you cannot actually be at high altitude. Benefits including increasing your VO2 max or endurance potential.

Part three is the Secret of Health. It explores how improved breathing leads to weight loss, reduced sports injuries, the relationship between oxygenation and improved heart function. It also provides tools to eliminate exercise-induced asthma for those prone to it.

The last part is called Your Oxygen Advantage program, and provides a number of programs to follow depending on your personal situation and need, providing simple diagrams and graphics to assist you on your journey.

As I write this review, and as a result of reading this book, I have been taping my mouth while I sleep for two months to train my body to nose breath. While there are many factors that can influence respiratory rate, I have noticed a general decline in my respiratory rate while sleeping as tracked by my Oura ring. Meaning, I am taking less breathes and actually oxygenating my body more. I have been more conscious of nasal breathing throughout the day. It took a few weeks of training, but I can now complete a HIIT strength training session only breathing through my nose. Next up is improving my CO2 capacity such that I can take more paces with a breath hold. Thus far I can only walk 18 paces or jog for 6 with holding my breath.

The BOLT score mentioned above is from 0 to 40 seconds. I started out with a decent score of 21 seconds and have thus far increased it to the mid-to-high 20’s, day dependent, with the goal of getting as close to 40 seconds as possible.

The client I mentioned earlier has tried going a few nights per week without wearing their CPAP machine, thus far with no deleterious effects. No notice of gasping for air by their partner, no tiredness in the morning etc. They were impressed enough to buy this book themselves.

Breath work is so important for stress release and resetting our parasympathetic nervous system and is something that I have been using with my clients for years and include in my corporate presentations, however, these techniques are so simple to use I have now begun to incorporate them with my clients as another breath tool in the health arsenal.

I would recommend this book for anyone wanting to improve their health and performance. I have certainly become more aware of all the mouth breathers out there and have started to work on some of these techniques with my children for benefits related to their development that I haven’t even addressed in this review.

Want to learn more or work with me on Optimizing your Health, Performance and Longevity? Contact me.

Filed Under: General

Book Review -Regenerate: Unlocking Your Body’s Radical Resilience Through The New Biology by Sayer Ji

October 13, 2020 by deepak

I first became aware of who Sayer Ji was by seeing a few presentations he had given on various Health Summits of various topics. He came across as a very knowledgeable, and compassionate person. Then when this book came out and he made the media rounds and I heard him on a couple of the podcasts I follow, I knew I needed to start following him and subscribed to his newsletter at GreenMedInfo.com. Soon after I decided I needed to buy and read this book.

In this book Sayer really unpacks the antiquated thinking and scientific dogma that is obstructing peoples understanding of their innate untapped potential for self-regulation and healing.

I think this is a must read for anyone SERIOUS about health, so I am not going to give away too much in this review, but let me tease you with some of the topics covered.

There are three parts to this book.

The first is titled: Your Body and the Miracle of Regeneration

In this section he describes how DNA, MicroRNA and Gene Expression is revolutionizing biology, how food acts as information for our bodies, the wisdom of the diets our ancestors had as opposed to the junk food diet’s we now have (my words), and how epigenetics is still barely discussed in medicine. The last chapter of section one discusses new studies and science on the biophysics of energy synthesis.

I agree with the author that for the majority of healing, your body with millions of years of experience knows what to do better than any pharmaceutical or treatment that is 100 years old or less.

There is a near infinite amount of energy stored in our bodies and if we can just harness that energy properly, we can be healthier for so much longer.

The second part of the book is titled: Rethink Chronic Disease, Prevention, and Healing

This is the bulk of the book and discuses cancer’s origins, prevention and treatment. Using lifestyle practices for brain health, which is something I am a huge proponent of. Understanding the myths and facts about heart medications, cholesterol and the inflammation connection to these issues. Reversing metabolic disease which I know is possible, as well as a chapter on rewinding your biological clock, something I am of course very interested in as I work my way to being a Centenarian.

While I have been aware of the flaws of cancer treatment for some time, Sayer introduced me to some new research that I had never seen before. Things that should be the standard of care. This kind of learning is why I read books like this.

There is a section on the problems with calcium supplementation that so many people, especially women, are told then need as they age.

The final part of this book is titled: Regenerate RX

This is where Sayer gets into the practical tips to clean-up your body, getting back to ancestral nutrition, supplementing to nourish your healing body and finally techniques for mind/ body healing.

As this gets down into the nitty gritty, I will leave that for you to explore on your own if you choose to read this book or if you choose to work with someone with a holistic approach to health like myself.

I have stated many times before, I appreciate a book that has lots of references to follow-up on, which this book does at 50 pages.

This book is about the New Biology, the New Science and it pushes back at the old established and I would suggest corrupt dogma, we have all heard for most of our lives. There is no wonder that Sayer Ji and many other trail blazers in health have censored by mainstream media (aka bought by Big Pharma and Big Food). I applaud him and others tirelessly working to bring this new important information to those who are open and willing to listen.

I highly recommend this book and if you want to learn how to implement these strategies into your own Health, Performance and Longevity plan, let’s have a conversation.

Filed Under: General

What is Functional Fitness and how to choose a Functional Fitness Trainer?

October 7, 2020 by deepak

I have written before on how to pick a quality personal trainer. Let’s take it a step further and talk about choosing to work with someone who specializes in Functional Fitness.

First let’s define what Functional Fitness is? Functional fitness exercises are designed to train and develop your muscles to make it easier and safer to perform everyday activities, such as carrying groceries, getting up out of a chair, getting in and out of the car etc. Functional fitness can be done indoors or outdoors, in a gym/ facility or in your own home.

Not every Personal trainer is certified in Functional Fitness. Does that mean that one can’t learn on their own through research and trial and error, No, but there are extra courses that one needs to take to have a true understanding of how to incorporate Functional Fitness with clients in a safe and efficient manner.

With any trainer, you are going to want to work with someone who accepts you for who you are and does not judge you for your past behaviors or choices that led you to your current situation.

You should never feel ashamed working with a trainer who is patient, supportive and sensitive.

The trainer is respectful of you and your time, including your view of the world. You want to work with someone who you feel is trustworthy.

You both want to have clear expectations of the workout and relationship.

The trainer does not believe in failure only feedback. The trainer needs to be committed to providing timely and specific feedback of your progress.

Do they explain what skills and capabilities are leading to your success? Do they provide periodic assessments of your goals?

One key thing to look for is: Does a trainer give you a proper physical assessment of your posture and physical imbalances before you begin any program? If not, MOVE ON!

You would be surprised how many trainers, especially at big box gyms, just jump right into the exercises without knowing more about your personal body mechanics.

Many would argue that a Cross-Fit, Obstacle or similar workout is Functional Fitness. Sure, our ancient ancestors needed to lift heavy rocks, climb trees, jump across ravines etc. However, in today’s mostly sedentary lifestyle with more and more people deconditioned and unwell, I would argue that most people do not need to do these complicated, potentially dangerous exercises.

Now, if you are training for some specific event or goal, sure, we can talk about how those can fit into your lifestyle. If you are keen to exercise at a gym, then I suggest you seek out a trainer there that has had specialized training as I mentioned above. Talk to the gym management to identify who these people are.

Now for a variety of reasons, many people whether they be women, the elderly, time constrained or resource constrained, just do not like to nor have the time to go to a gym.

So, for the purposes of the rest of this article I am going to focus on those people who want to work out at home or office and in a minimal amount of time.

I feel for the vast majority of people, there are only FIVE Functional Movement exercises that one needs to do. Sounds simple right? Well it is in a way, but let’s not forget that proper form and your safety is of upmost importance. That is why it is imperative to seek guidance from a trainer who has had this specialized training, at least at the beginning until you feel confidence in your own skills and body mechanics.

There are many ways to make these five exercises harder or easier, such that anyone at any level of fitness can complete them for satisfaction and development.

With any imbalances that may be identified during your personal assessment, your program would be modified, but the five key functional fitness exercises are:

A Pushing Motion, ex. Push Up (helps you get out of bed or off the floor, helps close doors etc)

A Pulling Motion, ex. Row (helps you grab groceries out of the car or grab something off the top shelf etc)

Squat (helps you get out of a chair or off the toilet)

Lunge (helps you climb up stairs or get in and out of your car)

Plank (helps build and maintain core strength)

Seems too simple right? Again, tempo, intensity and modifications can make these five exercises accommodating to the beginner or those injured to very challenging for those progressing or advanced.

Having a trainer who knows how to incorporate these into your lifestyle with your individualized body mechanics is key to your enjoyment, safety, progress and overall health.

While I take a holistic approach to working with my clients and address: The 7 Pillars of Health, Performance and Longevity. This includes Functional fitness that plays a role in your health moving forward. Contact me to learn more.

Your EXCEPTIONAL YOU is waiting to come out and achieve your EXCEPTIONAL RESULTS. I would love to be a part of your journey.

Filed Under: General

Hyperkyphosis And How It Affects Our Body -Guest Post

September 29, 2020 by deepak

For those familiar with my story, you know I severely hurt my back a number of years ago, and while I am pain free now, I work on my back and core strength every day. While I did not suffer from Hyperkyphosis, I sometimes see it with my clients. When I came across this wonderful article explaining it, I reached out to the author to see if she would be a guest writer.

So let me introduce you to Sheena Taggart and her own words below.

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to introduce myself and my new business. My name is Sheena Taggart and my business is Connective Wellness Therapeutic Massage. Recently I finished my schooling at MH Vicars School of Massage Therapy and became a Registered Massage Therapist. For the last 9 years I have worked for Canada Post in Springbank and Redwood Meadows and can’t wait to see my customers again in my new profession!

I chose this profession because of what I have experienced with my body and the medical professionals that helped me get to where I am today. I have seen an upper cervical chiropractor who would manipulate the first cervical vertebra as well as provided a stretching booklet that was followed by me. In the 7 years since I have maintained the adjustment with very few appointments since. With my physiotherapist I have worked on all kinds of problems such as rotator cuff muscle imbalance, sciatic issues, anterior pelvic tilt, and chronic tight neck and shoulders. I found if I kept up with my stretches and strengthening I wouldn’t need to go back. The problem is I didn’t always do my stretches and strengthen.

It was with massage that I found I was getting more lasting benefits. I talked to my massage therapist about all the many things she can treat and realized massage was something I could be passionate about. In school I learned about myofascial release which is the connective tissue that is between the skin and muscle, as well as surrounds the muscles and organs. I started doing myofascial release on my classmates, my massage volunteers that I had as homework, and myself. I am currently seeing a myofascial specialist as I continue to unwind my body and plan to continue my education in myofascial release. My journey has helped me to understand the body and how it works. Because of this journey, I am now able to create a lasting effect by treating the cause, not just the symptoms.

As I look around at people’s postures I have noticed that most people have an exaggerated curved upper back, protracted shoulder blades and a head forward posture which is called hyperkyphosis. It is often accompanied by hyperlordosis which is in the lower back. This can happen with certain medical conditions such as osteoporosis, ankylosing spondylitis, Pott’s, and Scheuermann’s disease. If that is not an issue the main culprits are sustained poor posture (slouching or sleeping in the curled-up position) or emotional causes when unconsciously trying to appear small. Occupational sources can be excessive hours sitting and weightlifting since there is an overemphasis on the pectoralis and flexion strengthening exercises. Symptoms these people might be experiencing could be chronic headaches even migraines, sore tight shoulders, jaw issues, tight neck muscles, and nerve issues in the arms and hands. With really bad hyperkyphosis it can also affect our breathing.

This illustration of poor posture provides an idea of the pounds of pressure put on the cervical vertebrae with the increased curvature of the spine.

As long as the vertebrae are not fused the good news is this can be fixed. I am proof of that!

The treatment for hyperkyphosis is a massage once a week for 6 weeks which would include heating the shortened muscles, myofascial release, trigger point release, stretching techniques, and stimulation of the inhibited muscles. For homecare there is a stretch and strengthening plan to follow. Following the 6 weeks is an assessment to determine next steps (if any!). Everyone is different so there is no one size fits all solution. Results depend on where a person starts from and if they have been able to keep up with the homecare.

I look forward to seeing you,

Sheena Taggart RMT

Connective Wellness Therapeutic Massage

Restore function and life through the re-education of muscles and elimination of pain.

I would like to thank Sheena for being a guest writer on my blog. Whether you feel you have hyperkyphosis or not, but aren’t quite feeling yourself physically, I encourage you to reach out to a Massage Therapist, Physiotherapist, Acupuncturist or Chiropractor in your local area.

If you need help finding someone, reach out and I can tap my network for you. Or if you want me to perform a postural assessment for you, either in-person or virtually, contact me!

Filed Under: General

Positive Discipline for Today’s Busy (& Overwhelmed) Parent -Book Review

August 28, 2020 by deepak

Besides having a wide array of interests, you might be wondering why I am posting a book review on this topic as opposed to my usual delves into health. The fact is that relationships play a huge role in your overall health and are one of the main themes in my program for longevity and the first thing I work on with my clients.

Nobody is perfect and I am always looking for ways to improve myself and my tool kit for dealing with the relationships in my life. My wife and I listened to a presentation by a psychologist on talking to your adolescent. She recommended a number of books, and this seemed like one that we both could learn from, plus we were hoping that a family member might pick it up as well while we were vacationing together.

The full title of the book is Positive Discipline for Today’s Busy (& Overwhelmed) Parent, How to Balance Work, Parenting & Self for Lasting Well-Being. The Authors are Jane Nelsen, EdD, Kristina Bill and Joy Marchese.

Instead of a review per se, I have noted the ideas and thoughts that jumped off the page to me and that I thought were important enough to make notes for.

Helping children feel special.

One small but powerful thing can be to create nonverbal signals that you can use with each other to share love -ex. A quick thumbs up when you pass in the hall, or patting your heart to send a message of love across the room.

One of the most powerful ways to build strong bonds with your child is to spend scheduled special time with them.

Plan Special Time with Your Child

Brainstorm a list of things you would like to do together during your special time. When brainstorming, don’t evaluate or eliminate. Look at your list together and categorize.

Protect the family meal as often as you can.

Use your calendar to schedule non-negotiable family time. Schedule specific blocks of time for family meetings.

Take time for hugs. There is always time for a three-second hug.

Write Love Notes to your Children.

Don’t do anything for children that they can do for themselves.

Several points about Non-punitive parenting:

  1. Non-punitive parenting does not mean letting children “get away” with their behaviour.
  2. It does mean helping children explore the consequences of their choices in a supportive and encouraging environment so that lasting growth and learning can take place.
  3. Most people turn out “fine” even if they were punished, but they might have learned even more had they received both kindness and firmness to learn mistakes.

Are you satisfied with “fine” or do you want your children to have the kind of nurturing that helps them bloom into the best people they can possibly be?

Too many parents boss their children around and then wonder why they rebel.

Encourage Contribution. As children grow, they become more and more capable of contributing. Let small children help. Take time for training them over and over and over again.

Being both kind and firm is extremely important with teens. Here are some kind and firm tools to remember:

  1. Connection before correction. Connection can be physical touch, making eye contact, validating feelings, listening and being curious, making sure the message of love gets through, and showing empathy by getting into your teens world.
  2. Being excited about mistakes. Instead of lecturing and ridiculing, learn to celebrate mistakes.
  3. Joint Problem Solving. When teens are respectfully involved in problem solving, they are much more likely to keep agreements.
  4. Special time. Plan for a weekend breakfast together, or time to attend special functions that are of interest to your teen.

Children can be very creative when they are treated respectfully and allowed the opportunity. Ask your children for their ideas on solving the problem of organizing and getting chores done.

In family meetings but also at other times it is key to focus on solutions instead of blame. You will be amazed by the capability of children to find solutions when they are invited to do so.

Why would a child respond favorably to a situation that would certainly not be motivating to you?

Seven Guidelines for Positive Time-out

  1. Understand that a time of conflict is not a good time to teach and learn.
  2. During a time when there’s no conflict, teach the value of taking time to calm down until the rational brain can be accessed.
  3. Encourage your children to design a positive time-out area that will help them do whatever they need to do until they feel better and can do better.
  4. Suggest the child choose a name for this area, something other than “time-out”.
  5. Design your own tine-out area.
  6. During a conflict, ask your children if it would help them to go to their positive time-out place, or for you to go your own time-out area.
  7. If appropriate, follow up with teaching time at a later moment, when everyone is feeling better again.

4 Steps in order to recover from our mistakes -The 4 R’s of Recovery

                Step 1-Recognize. “Oops, I made a mistake.”

                Step 2-Reconnect. This can be done verbally by validating the child’s feelings: “I can see that my behaviour has hurt you.” Or it can be done nonverbally, through a hand on the shoulder, getting down to eye level, or holding hands.

                Step 3-Reconcile. “I apologize.”

                Step 4-Resolve. “What can we do to make things better? Let’s work on a solution together.”

Take responsibility for what you create in your life. Dig deep and figure out how you created the situation you complain about. Responsibility does not mean blame or shame. Awareness of personal responsibility gives you power and options to create what you want.

Inconsistent behaviour does not inspire confidence and communicates to others that we can be influenced or even manipulated. Consistency is key in all areas, be it with family or colleagues.

People will listen to you after they feel listened to.

Mindset profoundly impacts our ability to agree on a way forward and that the levels of actions both parties are prepared to take in order to work on the relationship. It impacts our ability to communicate with each other, express love, practice forgiveness, and satisfy our partners primary goal of belonging.

When children don’t believe they belong, they feel discouraged and may misbehave. Likewise, when you don’t feel loved, valued, and accepted by your partner, you are unlikely to put forth your most kind and loving behaviour.

Perfectionism is rooted in insecurity and a deep need to prove one’s worth by doing things flawlessly.

When partners feel unappreciated in their efforts to help, they may avoid being hurt by spending more time away from home or doing solo activities.

Many relationships are taking a backseat to the urgent demands of work and children. Little to no time is carved out to enjoy each other. This is a huge mistake. Children benefit when they witness a happy and loving partnership. Your children learn about relationships by observing you.

Special time should be a priority over other time commitments so that the relationship isn’t always downgraded to last on the list, which can easily happen if both partners work.

Affection is one of the most powerful ways to make your partner feel cherished. Regular affection sends a powerful message of belonging, which summons our most loving behaviours. Affection meets the core need to feel special and deeply cared for.

There is a special sense of connection when you share your innermost thoughts and feelings, hear the innermost thoughts and feelings of your partner, and find similarities to marvel at. The need for meaningful conservation continues throughout the relationship, and it is painful to both parties if intimate sharing stops. The cost to the relationship is loss of closeness and connection and belonging.

Many couples have conflict because one partner is unable to appreciate the separate reality of the others individuals thoughts, feelings, desires and beliefs. We advocate that both parties are free to see things differently based on their personal beliefs, and that those differences are accepted and valued by the other. Its ok to disagree on things.

Often it is sufficient to show interest and wonderment at your partners enthusiasm and to encourage him or her to explore those interests as much as possible. Your partner will feel truly valued and accepted, and you will hopefully encourage you in your interests in return.

Couple meetings should be separate from family meetings. Parents need some grown-up time to, to bond and strategize.

Couple Activity:

  1. Separately create a list of things you would like to do with your partner
  2. Get together and share your lists. How many of your items are the same?
  3. Brainstorm some other ideas that you would like to do together
  4. Divide list into regular things and bucket list things
  5. Get out your calendars and schedule time together. Make this a final part of your weekly couples meeting
  6. Journal about the difference this activity makes in your relationship and share with each other.

We tend to underestimate what our children can do. When we show faith in our children, they develop courage and faith in themselves. Instead of lecturing, fixing, or doing it for them, say, “I have faith in you. I know you can handle this.”

Explain the task in a kind way as you perform it while your child watches. Do the task together. Have your child do it by herself while you supervise. When she feels ready, let her perform the task on her own. Don’t step in and correct it or do it for her -let her own it.

If you don’t have faith in your children, how else will they learn to have faith in themselves? The foundation actions to show faith in your children are avoidance actions, such as avoiding overparenting, avoiding rescuing, avoiding fixing, and avoid reminding (lecturing).

Example is the best teacher. Do you expect your children to control their behaviour when you don’t control your own? Withdraw from the conflict and calm down. If you do make a mistake and lose it, apologize to your children.

Make sure each child is loved for being the unique human she is. Don’t compare the kids in a misguided attempt to motivate them to be like another child. This is very discouraging.

These items or ideas are the ones that talked to me for our family to either incorporate newly or to make an effort to get back to again. Anyone who reads this book likely will have different takeaways, and likely coming back to a book like this again after some time, different things will speak to you.

As I mentioned at the top, strong healthy relationships is part of my first pillar of Longevity that I work on with my clients. Interested to see if I can help you achieve your Longevity goals? Contact me.

Filed Under: General

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